The Kendra's Journal Podcast

Mom got on AOL and started checking out the photo personals. An interesting coincidence led to a date, but was Mom ready for something serious? The holidays arrived and Mom was getting ready to go to Hermiston. Phillip shared that the baby on the way was a girl! But Happy New Year (1999) wasn’t so happy at work.

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_192.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 8:06am PDT

Some time had passed and Mom was settling into post-Law School life in Boise. She was working for a lumber company but got some news that would change that. She also got her “new” used Toyota 4-Runner. She was attending school at Boise State in the paralegal program but was plagued with more back issues related to an old injury. Money was also tight and a miscalculation caused some unexpected issues. Mom signed up for AOL! By the end of the year, she was ready for 1998 to end and to move on!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_191.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 10:47am PDT

Mom was calculating what she thought her GPA would be based on the grades she was thinking/hoping she’d get. Her finals were finished but she was worried she didn’t do well enough to transfer back to Oregon. Since exams were done, Mom got herself ready to move to Boise for the summer! After she made it there she reported to work at Legal Aid, but there was a problem. Also, her grades came in… Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_190.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:57am PDT

Sorry for the long intro… We recorded on the seventh anniversary of Mom’s passing so we spent some time talking about the day. In the Journal, Mom finished her Con Law test and then went drinking. She thought it went well while she was in it but began to wonder after she finished. Mom was also anxious to get all of this over with so she could get home see little Mathew! Since the Legal Aid job in Boise said they couldn’t pay until her grades came through, Mom started to look for paying work in Boise to get her by until then. “AFTPERT” - Always Flush Toilet. Please, Everyone, Remember This. Mom put in her transfer to try and move back to Oregon. She spent a lot of time STUDYING. Lots and lots of STUDYING. One more exam for Contracts and she was nervous. But even before finishing her final exam, she was wanting to know all her grades. It was going to be weeks away so she decided to get ready for her sister to arrive and help her move back west for the summer. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_189.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 8:14am PDT

EXAMS! With her exam weeks started, Mom spent most of her time studying but did take an occasional break to hang out and get a drink with friends. She became more concerned with her GPA when she got some news about how it might impact her summer job. Mom was also becoming more competitive with Law School and how it effected her grades. The practice exams gave Mom some sense of preparedness. She had also been thinking about “B” a little, with a little less emotion this time around. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_188.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 9:18am PDT

Mom had more horoscope wisdom to share and a lot more studying! She also began looking at classes for her next year but had to be strategic with her budget. IRAC it! Mom spoke with a friend from Bend and got an update on “B”. She was really impatient for summer break but still had to get through the exams week. Also, someone was interested in her but Mom wasn’t having any of it.

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_187.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 1:40pm PDT

More studying! Mom was prepping for her exams… STRESS!  She wrote about being the mystery student and her horoscopes gave her a lot to think about. She also bought some magic skin cream and partied one last time before exams then woke up wishing she hadn’t. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_186.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 10:21am PDT

School, school, school! Everything in Mom’s life at the time was school. But she did see a light at the end of the tunnel and was looking forward to being back on the west coast for the summer. She was also still hoping to transfer to an Oregon Law school for the next school year. Mat got a part in a play at the community college and Mom had plans to see it while she was home. Mom was worried about an exam she took. She was confident that she knew the material, but once she was in a test situation, she would forget how to express what she knew. She was able to get a job lined up in Boise with Legal Aid for the summer. Mom also had a UTI and worried it was going to ruin an event she planned to attend. She was able to party a bit and got a good night of sleep out of it. She also babysat one of her professor’s dog. Mom was feeling the pressure to do well on her exams and worried how she’ll pay her student loans if she wasn’t making an attorney salary. Then, Mom literally bled to get her hands on a class outline.

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_185.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 7:02am PDT

Mom gave notice on her apartment in preparation for moving to Boise, ID for the summer. She also got some money and tried to eliminate some debt. “B” was still on her mind, she didn’t want him back but she did want him to see her life and how well she would do after finishing law school. Homework, homework, homework and, yes, MORE HOMEWORK! She had A LOT of homework. She was getting to crunch time with everything. Exams were very quickly approaching so she was studying but also packing and moving what she could to storage while making plans to move for the summer. She had some trouble with her study group that left her wondering what to do. Phillip started his new government job too. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_184.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 8:46am PDT

Sorry for the long intro, we got sidetracked before we could get started! Mom started prioritizing her working load for school and was working on getting more (much needed) financial aid. She was obsessing over little Mathew (because who wasn’t at the time) and was working hard on her self-confidence. There’s a lot more than this too. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_183.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom got back to CT after spending the holidays with family… specifically baby Mathew! On the flight home, Mom caused a panic and the airline lost her bags. Classes were starting and Mom hadn’t gotten her grades from the last semester. So heading into the next semester she was focusing on improving her writing and test-taking skills. She was starting to worry about what would happen if her grades weren’t good enough. After being in Bend, Mom reflected on her and “B”. Also, Mom has an “Ah Ha!” moment. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_182.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 5:29am PDT

Mom heard that a guy she had been interested was probably not into her, but when they spoke things got confusing. She was talking a lot about being alone and wanting to meet someone who could handle her being in law school. Mom also wondered about what would happen if she ran across “B” when she went home for vacation. Then, she spent a lot of time prepping for exams and aside from the occasional panic attack she was feeling pretty good. There was a severe lack of sleep and illness making those exams rough so she ended up going to the ER. Finally, Mom got some pictures of little Mathew and Phill told her he was going to try and go to medical school.

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_181.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 9:38am PDT

An incident at a celebration left Mom feeling embarrassed and concerned. Finals were getting close and while studying, she got an unexpected call. Phillip and family returned to Oregon after his enlistment in the Marines while Mom gushed over pictures and videos of little Mathew. She was counting down the days until she could see and hold him. She started taking steps to be more responsible with her money. There were also a lot of calls/hangups and Mom suspected it was a guy she met that wouldn’t leave her alone but she was interested in another guy… a younger guy. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_180.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Between this episode and the last, Mom finished her break and trip home that included a trip to Cabo, moving her thing’s out of “B’s” house and road-tripping to Arizona for Phillip’s wedding. Oh, and she got readmitted to the first year of Law School! Since she was back in school she was giving it her all. She wasn’t missing any classes and focused on learning everything she could, to include fighting her fear of exams. The National Law Journal published an article on one of Mom’s law professors, another student and her about a case Mom was helping on. LITTLE MATHEW WAS BORN! Probably the happiest day Mom had in over 20 years. Then she went shopping, something she said she should be doing. We also talk about Phillip’s teddy bear, the same one we spoke about in the early days of the podcast. Also, a surprise anniversary. Can you guess what it is? Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_179.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT


Mom continued to deal with the fallout of her relationship ending. She was trying to finish her term in school while figuring out the logistics of coming home and moving her stuff out of the house she’d shared with “B” for the last seven years. Then she got high tech! She got a law research program installed on her computer at home. She also got a bit reckless with her social life and started to let her attendance slip, a lot! When it was time to go home, Mom took a limo! Did she win the lottery?!? When summer break arrived, mom got a wake up call from school. Finally, Phillip phoned Mom telling her he was re-enlisting in the Marine Corps for another four years. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_178.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom took a minute to reflect on the previous year of her life and added up how much law school was costing her. She also daydreamed of what life would be like after she finished. She also wrote about her plans for summer break and got word of Phillip’s upcoming baby (Mathew) and was super excited! Mom got a cat… with problems and a summer job at the New Haven Superior Court to make some money before going to Mexico. Then she shares some big news for her and “B”… Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_177.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

NEW WEBSITE! Check it out at! Mom was home for spring break; her and “B” had been having a great time. She was making the most of her break by getting together with her dad and Mat, then took a trip across Oregon to visit her mom and grandfather. On her way back to Connecticut, there were some issues. Once back to school, she applied for a new job with the Dean of her school. She also got to go to a Ball put on by the law school. Mom was feeling pressure when she submitted her first draft of a paper that was worth 65% of her class grade. She was dreaming of life after law school, but got some bad news and was having a hard time dealing with her emotions.

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_176.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom was still enjoying school and putting together her apartment. She was looking forward to her trip home over spring break because research and studying were keeping her busy. Mom got the INTERNET! She had some concerns about “B”, but 9 weeks into law school and she was feeling the pressure. This made her question the full course load she was planning to take in her next term. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_175.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 8:04pm PDT

Mom and “B” drove to Connecticut so she could start school. They made it safely but “B” had to head back to Oregon after a week. It was Christmas and Mom was along, but excited to start law school. And even though classes hadn’t started yet, she already had homework. She was still in the process of setting up her new place and got a job, but was worried about the schedule with school starting. Phillip had a BIG announcement around this time and Mat enrolled in college. School started and Mom was planning on completing her law degree in 2.5 years instead of the typical 3-4 years. She was also beginning to plan her trip home for spring break. She was loving law school and felt like it was the right place. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_174.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 7:40pm PDT

Mom was wrapping up her time in the CLEO program and still hoping to hear from a law school. She got 1st in her mock supreme court trial and got accepted to a law school in Connecticut! So, she started planning her move from Oregon to the East Coast. Then, Mom, “B” and his daughter Kali went to see Mat’s first play. More information about Mac… On to better things, Phillip turned 22 and got lucky on a slot machine! Then Mom got packed up, moved and was counting down the days until she started law school! Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_173.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom Graduated!!! She was also accepted to the CLEO Program. Her and “B” weren’t getting along and she took a three-day train ride from Oregon to Pennsylvania; she had a luggage issue. Mom turned 38! She then found out there was a possibility of law school in Oregon, but she decided to also apply in Pennsylvania. She said the CLEO Program was good, but lots of work! Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_172.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom got her cap and gown for graduation. Her grades were good and she was ready to finish up! She was anxiously awaiting word on her Law School applications and was also a finalist for the CLEO program, a law school prep program. She was worried about what it would mean if she didn’t get accepted by a law school. New on a scholarship came in that left her with some mixed emotions and started prepping for retaking the LSAT, just in case none of the law schools she applied for accepted her. And, with graduation around the corner, Mom started getting things ready to move back to Bend, but with relationship troubles between her and “B”, she thought she might need to find a new place to stay. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_171.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 4:13pm PDT

Mom took another break from writing in the Journal. This time for 2 years 9 months! During that time Phillip joined the Army National Guard, graduated high school, then joined the US Marine Corps and went to Somalia. Us boys talk about a trip we took to Seattle and Canada. Mat also graduated high school and discovered credit! Mom was still going to school at the University of Oregon in Eugene and applying to law schools all over the country. Her and “B” were still together but she was questioning what would happen if she got into one that wasn’t in Oregon. Mom found out she lost out on some free money for school, damn! Finally, Mom got some pictures done for her graduation and was hoping her last term before graduation would go fast! Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_170.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 7:32am PDT

After a 2 year, 4 month break, Mom starts writing again. She was still in school in Bend and working at a convenience store, then she took some time off to drive bus for Mt. Bachelor. Also, Phillip has moved back to Bend during the gap. Mom was planning her move to Eugene to finish up her Bachelor’s Degree at the University of Oregon (GO DUCKS!) and Phillip explains how he joined the military while a Junior in high school. Mom and “B” were still together, but it didn’t sound like the dream relationship it once was. “B” was putting a lot of pressure on her to help keep his business running AND keep the housework up, regardless of her school, life and other personal pressures. She finally got herself a computer and had a desire to type it all up then keep all future entries that way. There was also still fallout with Mac. Around this time there were bill collectors trying to get Mom to pay one of Mac’s delinquent bills for something he’d done AFTER we’d moved away. This was the end of Book 22 and there is another gap of about 2 and a half years so we talk a little about where things are going now and fill in some of what was happening during that time. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_169.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom had settled into her new life so her writing became more inconsistent. Mat talks about his first Nintendo NES. “B” was in Alaska while Mom was stuck at home but she had finished her first year of school and was looking forward to working full time so she’d have some money in her pocket. Brit and Kali (B’s daughters) and Mom talks about a road trip they took to Portland and the coast. Then, Mom started her second year of college and took a break from the Journal. Us boys spend some time filling in the gap with our memories of the time. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_168.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Mom was dealing with Phillip’s decision to leave. She took Mat to the coast for her employer’s “End of Season” dinner. She also started college and was dreaming of what she’d do on becoming an attorney. Her and “B” were still going strong with Mom commenting on how in love she was, but her divorce from Mac hit a snag. Enjoy!

Direct download: Kendras_Journal_Podcast_167.mp3
Category:Personal Journal -- posted at: 12:00am PDT